Appreciation

I appreciate many people. My mom, my friends, any of my relatives, but for right now I'm just going to talk about how much I appreciate my boyfriend. 

You have been here for me more than anyone else recently. I appreciate you for several reasons: you always pick me up if I don't have a ride somewhere, you always makes food for me when I go to your house, you always let me choose what movies we watch, if my phone rings you will get up and get it for me, if I say I'm thirsty you stop whatever you're doing to get me a drink, if I cry you just lay with me and don't ask questions, when we fight you get mad at yourself instead of at me, you help me with homework that I don't understand, you buy me whatever I ask for and give me nice presents and don't expect anything in return, you tell me how our life is going to be in the future and that you will spoil me and take care of me. I appreciate all of that stuff and more. I try to always tell you thank you, and explain how much I appreciate you, but it never seems like enough to me.

When I become a parent...

I don't want to become a parent... Ever. A mini me would be adorable and everything, yes, but it would just be too much work for me. I'm a perfectionist, so I would obsess over EVERYTHING about my child. Then it would become a teenager and not even like me anymore, because most teens don't like their parents, in my experience. So parenting would just be a lot of work with no reward, for me anyway.

But, for the purpose of this blog post, I'll tell you what I would do if I were to become a parent. When a person becomes a parent, their parenting style is generally quite similar to their own parent's. 

I wouldn't do anything that my dad did. He is and was a pretty awful parent. For that reason, I don't trust him and I don't respect him, though I am obligated to love him. I would never follow in his parenting footsteps.

My mom, on the other hand, was and is a pretty good parent. If I were to be a parent, I would spend a lot of time with my kids, begin teaching them educational things at a very young age, and never judge them; just as my mom did for me. 

Its Thanksgiving week everybody! This is the time to think about everything you have instead of the things you don't have. We all have to take time to recognize all the little things that we don't even think about, and give them a moment of appreciation.

The top ten things I'm thankful for:

.
10. Thanksgiving turkey! (And all that other good stuff)
9. Not having many injuries, pains, or medical issues in my life.

8. All the decent and good hearted people in the world.
7. My education and intelligence.
6. The luck of being born in America.
5. Being lucky enough to have the material things that I do have.
4. My pets always greeting me, loving me, and cheering me up.
3. The love, respect, joy, and help of my awesome boyfriend.
2. All the work that my mom has done to keep our family strong and happy.
1. Having a family that I can always trust and count on.

Stress

Stress is Stressful

I have a lot of stress in my life. Being a 17 year old girl that is about to graduate and have to face life is stressful enough on its own, but I have a ton of other things added on top of that. I want to graduate at semester so I have to make sure I'm passing all of my classes. I have all kinds of tests to study for, papers to write, and presentations to prepare for. Now is the time that I absolutely have to decide if I am going to go to college so I can apply for scholarships, but that's a hard one for me because my family and I have absolutely no money. Money is a big stress for me. My dad is waiting for disability money and currently has no income. My mom works at a factory and makes very little money. We can't really afford to buy groceries so I mostly rely on food from friends and school. And I'm trying to loose weight, but its difficult because I can't really choose what I eat, I just have to be happy to have something. I don't have money to buy Christmas presents, even for the people that are going to buy presents for me, which makes me feel completely terrible. I want to get a job but I don't know how to do that without having a vehicle (I live far from the nearest town and wouldn't be able to walk there). Also, my brother is doing national guard training. He only gets to call home about once a month, and I have to worry about him because I know he is having a hard time over there. Not to mention a very close aunt of mine just died out of nowhere and every time I think about her I start crying, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. And I have 4 pets that I can no longer afford to feed, but I love them too much to get rid of them. My life seems to be an endless cycle of stress.

People get stressed. It happens. When it does happen, its good to have ways of dealing with it. We all have our own ways of dealing, coping, calming down, and relaxing. Some people exercise. Some paint, sew, listen to music, all sorts of stuff. When stress is really getting to me, I talk to myself. I talk myself through whatever situation I'm in. It may be weird, but it helps. Except when I'm just completely overwhelmed and nothing is going to help. Then I just break down and cry. 

The point is, you are going to be stressed sometimes. You just have to find your own ways of coping with it. Remember that things will improve eventually and appreciate all the good things in your life while you have them.

Self Esteem

http://www.simplypsychology.org/self-esteem.html

Self Esteem

     I recently read the article, Low Self Esteem, by Saul McLeod. This article is very informative for an individual who would like to know more about low self esteem. Even people that don't think they have low self esteem should read this article. It is important that a person knows information about low self esteem so that they can understand how other people might be feeling. The article Low Self Esteem informs the reader about the causes, affects, and statistics of low self esteem.

     There are many causes of low self esteem. Most people develop their low self esteem during childhood. The cause can be different for everyone. Some common causes include: physical punishment, neglect, being singled out, and poor and unfair treatment. The article explains this well.

     Most people have a low self esteem occasionally, whether they realize it or not. A person looking in the mirror and judging themselves negatively could be classified as low self esteem. Any person that has ever felt that they aren't good enough, or won't be good enough has experienced low self esteem. Low self esteem is very common and effects everyone somehow. Though it may occur in everyone, some have it far worse than others.

     The people that have a low self esteem on a regular basis tend to be effected by it. Many tend to feel unhappy, unmotivated, insecure and angry often. They appear to be shy, dependent, negative, underachieving, and fearful. A constant low self esteem can contribute to major life changing issues such as different types of depression and anxiety. Once a person reaches these stages, it is no longer just a low self esteem they have, its a serious mental illness.

     A low self esteem has negative effects on a person, but a very high self esteem may have negative effects as well. Individuals with an overly high self esteem have a habit of getting into fights/arguements, because they always think they are right. Also, they have trouble with friends and relationships because they don't apologize or admit that they were wrong. So, its best to try to keep your level of self esteem to a medium level. The article Low Self Esteem can give the reader all the information he or she needs on the subject.

    

                                                                 

Goals

Its important to set goals. Without goals, your life would just be an aimless mess. Even if you don't think you have goals, you probably do and just don't realize it. Goals can be big, but they can also be very small. Maybe you're trying to do better in school, or maybe you are just trying to get one assignment done. Maybe you're trying to get set up for college, or maybe you're just trying to decide what job to get. Those are all goals. 

Having trouble accomplishing your goal?

First, state your goal. What is it that you want?

Okay now that you have that, think of a series of other, smaller goals needed in order to accomplish that goal.

Now think, what changes are going to need to be made with your daily life? How will you cope with these changes? This may be a trial and error situation, or it may go smooth the first try.

I'll give you an example.

What's my goal? - My goal is to find a way to make good money without a college education. (For now anyway)

Now, what smaller goals do I need to accomplish that will help with my main goal?

   #1: Research. Pick several job opportunities. Study them.

   #2: Start at a random low level job for experience.

   #3: Teach myself useful information and talents that might be needed.

How will I need to change? - I'll have to give up free time for research and studies. Also, I will need transportation for the job. 

How will I cope? - I will wait until I graduate school and then begin the goal process, so I won't be stressed.

Trial and error? - I may go through several low level jobs. I might not like the major job once I finally get it.
   

What if...?

• Your marriage is headed for divorce. 
•  How would you settle property, custody, that kinda stuff?

If I were in that situation, I'd have the kids and let him see him however many times a week. I would want the house, so if he didn't want to give it to me I'd give him some money for it.

• Your elderly parents need to move in with
• What conflicts and adjustments arrive?

Personally, I would hate to have my parents move in with me. I wouldn't mind living close to them, but with them? No thanks. We'd have to find a place for them, maybe the basement, depending on my house size. They'd expect me to cook for them, do their laundry, and clean up after them. I'd have to buy the things that they are used to like their shampoo, toothpaste, foods, things like that. Not to mention trying not to fight with my dad, or get annoyed with my mom.

• You are a single mother. 
• How will you cope emotionally and financially. 

If it were me, I'd probably have a lot of help from my mom. She loves kids so she'd babysit a lot, giving me free time and the ability to work. As far as coping emotionally, if my husband/boyfriend were the type of person that would leave his wife/girlfriend and kid behind, I wouldn't be sad and I wouldn't miss him. I'd look at the bright side of the situation, which is that I would be free to date and go have fun (still being a good parent).

• You just remarried. 

• How will family discipline be handled with step children? Chores? Space?

For me, it all depends on how old the step children are. If they were ten or younger, I would treat them like they were my own. I would yell if I needed to yell, assign them chores, they could call me mom if they wanted to, but I wouldn't care either way. Now if they were older than ten, I would leave the discipline to their dad, I'd suggest chores for them to their dad to give them, and I know they wouldn't call me mom. When it comes to space, we'd find a place for everyone and find a way to make it all equal, like if there were two rooms but one was bigger than the other, I'd say that the one that got the smaller room could could have a tv (or something like that) to avoid argument.

"Happy" After

In my family studies class at school, we've talked about how to build/maintain a healthy relationship. There are several details of doing this, and many ways of doing it. I'll talk about the five main steps, using my Aunt Jill and Uncle Ralph's relationship as an example.

Step 1: Strong foundation. My aunt  and uncle went to school together. they had been friends long before they dated. They established a strong foundation with friendship, appreciation, and respect.

Step 2: Build healthy patterns. Uncle Ralph goes to work. Aunt Jill is a stay at home mom. When each of them are done with what they have to do, they spend time doing things together.

Step 3: Explore eachother's interest. My uncle doesn't care much for cooking, but he does it anyway because my aunt likes to. On the other hand, my aunt doesn't care much for fishing, but does it because my uncle enjoys it.

Step 4: Establish a pattern of apologizing. I don't know their pattern of apologizing, but they've been together and happy for a long time, so they must have one. Some people apologize when they know they were wrong. Some apologize immediately after something happens. Some wait until things calm down. As long as they apologize then it should be okay.

"Happy" Before

My Aunt Jill and Uncle Ralph have a good relationship. I've always felt that they were happy. They've been together for about twenty - five years. Every time I go to there house Aunt Jill is cooking some new all natural recipe and Uncle Ralph is helping her. Uncle Ralph is always trying to impress her, and Aunt Jill is all giggly. I asked them what they felt was key to having a good relationship. They told me that if two people truely love eachother then nothing is going to mess up their relationship. Uncle Ralph said that you can't stop trying, no matter how long you've been together. Aunt Jill told me to look past the bad things in the relationship and in life its self and just appreciate what you have.
 

Follow Me

        I followed this blog.

 

http://www.empoweringparents.com/

It basically gives advice on how to raise teenagers. It talks about what to do if your teen is being bullied, is a bully, does drugs, hangs out with the wrong types of people, Isn't doing well in school, and many other topics. As a teenager, I find this blog interesting because it tells me what is going on in parents minds. It is reassuring that parents care enough about these things that they would make a blog for it. And the advice they give is actually helpful. I'll try to remember the things I've read on the blog for when I have children.